{"id":9435,"date":"2026-06-28T17:02:35","date_gmt":"2026-06-29T00:02:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/?p=9435"},"modified":"2026-06-28T17:02:35","modified_gmt":"2026-06-29T00:02:35","slug":"a-friendship-like-no-other-homily-for-the-13th-sunday-in-ordinary-time-year-a","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/a-friendship-like-no-other-homily-for-the-13th-sunday-in-ordinary-time-year-a","title":{"rendered":"A Friendship Like No Other: Homily for the 13th Sunday in Ordinary Time – Year A"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

One of the funniest and most famous scenes in all of literature
\ncomes near the beginning of the novel Don Quixote<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Don Quixote and his faithful companion, Sancho Panza,
\nare riding across the plains of Spain,
\na knight and his squire,
\nout to right wrongs and protect the vulnerable.
\nSuddenly Don Quixote points into the distance.
\n\u201cLook there!” he cries. \u201cMonstrous giants!”
\nSancho squints into the sun.
\n“Giants? Those aren’t giants. Those are windmills.”
\nBut Don Quixote is convinced.
\nHe lowers his lance, charges across the field,
\nand is promptly knocked head over heels off his horse
\nby one of the windmill\u2019s rotating sails.
\nWe can imagine poor Sancho
\nhelping his bruised and battered friend back onto his horse,
\nshaking his head and wondering,
\n“Why in the world did I ever decide to travel
\nwith this impossible old man?”
\nIt’s a famously funny scene,
\nbut it\u2019s also the beginning of one of the greatest friendships in literature.<\/p>\n

That friendship came to mind when I read today’s Gospel.
\nBecause Jesus says something that can sound almost impossible:
\n“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,<\/em>
\nand whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Those are strong words, and they can be hard to make sense of.
\nIs Jesus really asking us to love him more than our families?
\nDoesn’t that seem to contradict everything else we\u2019ve been taught
\nabout honoring our parents and loving our neighbors?<\/p>\n

But I think the key to understanding this line
\nis found in a single Greek word that gets translated as \u201clove.\u201d
\nIn English we use the word \u201clove\u201d for lots of different purposes:
\nWe love pizza, and baseball, and music.
\nBut we also love our spouses, our children, our friends.
\nThose are very different kinds of love.
\nThe New Testament was written in Greek,
\nand the Greek language actually has several different words
\nfor the several different kinds of love.
\nThe Greek word for love that we may have heard before is agape<\/em>\u2014
\nGod’s self-giving, sacrificial love.
\nWe often hear that in the context of Scripture.
\n\u201cGod is love,\u201d says the first letter of John.
\n\u201cBeloved, let us love one another, because love is of God;
\neveryone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
\nWhoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.\u201d
\nThe word for love in that passage is agape<\/em> – God\u2019s self-sacrificial love.<\/p>\n

But that’s not the word for love used in today\u2019s Gospel.
\nInstead, Matthew uses the Greek verb phile\u014d<\/em>,
\nwhich means ‘to love as a friend,’ ‘to cherish,’ or ‘to be fond of.’
\nIt’s the same family of words that gives us \u201cPhiladelphia”\u2014
\nthe City of Brotherly Love.<\/p>\n

Today Jesus is speaking about friendship.
\nHe is saying, in effect,
\n“Whoever prefers the friendship of father or mother to my friendship…”<\/em>
\n“Whoever prefers the friendship of son or daughter to my friendship…”<\/em><\/p>\n

This Gospel reading is less about what Jesus demands from us
\nthan about what Jesus desires for us:
\na friendship so deep that every other love finds its proper place.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The spiritual writer Fr. William Barry spent much of his life
\nreflecting on prayer as friendship with God.
\nHe believed the deepest question of prayer isn’t,
\n“What do I want from God?”
\nThe deeper question is:
\n“What does God want?”
\nAnd Barry’s answer is remarkably simple.
\nGod wants our friendship.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we imagine that what God wants most is our obedience.
\nOr our worship.
\nOr our moral improvement.
\nCertainly those things matter.
\nBut before all of those, God desires relationship.<\/p>\n

Jesus doesn’t simply want followers.
\nHe wants friends.
\nThat is exactly what he tells the disciples at the Last Supper:
\n“I no longer call you servants… I have called you friends.”<\/p>\n

Friendship has a remarkable power.
\nThe people we spend our lives with slowly shape us.
\nWe begin to laugh at the same things.
\nWe borrow one another’s expressions.
\nWe begin to care about the things our friends care about.
\nNot because we lose ourselves.
\nBut because friendship transforms us.<\/p>\n

That is exactly what happens to Sancho Panza.
\nAt the beginning of the novel, he is the practical one.
\nHe rolls his eyes at Don Quixote’s impossible dreams.
\nHe sees windmills where Don Quixote sees giants.
\nHe sees dusty roads where Don Quixote sees glorious adventures.
\nHe spends much of the story trying to bring his friend back to reality.
\nBut something quietly happens over the course of their years together.
\nWithout even noticing it,
\nSancho begins to see the world through his friend’s eyes.
\nHe starts speaking Don Quixote’s language.
\nHe becomes more generous.
\nMore hopeful.
\nMore willing to believe that the world might be larger and more beautiful
\nthan he once imagined.
\nThe greatest gift Don Quixote gives Sancho isn’t wealth or success.
\nIt’s a new way of seeing.<\/p>\n

William Barry would say that this is exactly what happens
\nin friendship with Christ.
\nPrayer isn’t simply reciting words.
\nPrayer is spending time with someone.
\nSomeone who already loves us.
\nSomeone who delights in us.
\nSomeone who wants to share his life with us.<\/p>\n

Sometimes prayer is beautiful.
\nSometimes it feels dry.
\nBut think about your oldest friendships.
\nNot every conversation is profound.
\nNot every visit changes your life.
\nFriendship isn’t built on extraordinary moments.
\nIt is built by showing up.
\nAgain and again.<\/p>\n

Jesus doesn’t ask us to admire him from a distance.
\nHe asks us to travel with him.
\nEvery time we open the Scriptures…
\nEvery time we receive the Eucharist…
\nEvery time we spend a few quiet minutes in prayer…
\nJesus is saying,
\n“Walk with me a little farther.”
\nAnd if we keep walking with him, something begins to happen.
\nLittle by little, almost without realizing it,
\nwe begin to dream Christ’s dreams.<\/p>\n

We notice people we once ignored.
\nWe forgive people we never thought we could forgive.
\nWe become more patient.
\nMore merciful.
\nMore generous.
\nJesus\u2019 heart slowly becomes our heart.<\/p>\n

That is why today’s Gospel is not asking us to love our families less.
\nIt is inviting us to love Christ so deeply
\nthat his friendship becomes the center
\nfrom which every other relationship flows.<\/p>\n

What Jesus is saying today is:
\nthe single most important friendship of our lives
\nis friendship with Him,
\nand without it we may as well not even call ourselves his disciples.<\/p>\n

Because friendship with Christ doesn’t compete with human love.
\nIt perfects it.
\nIt enlarges it.
\nIt teaches us how to love.<\/p>\n

Near the end of Don Quixote<\/em>, there is another unforgettable scene.
\nThe old knight has come home.
\nHis adventures are over.
\nHe is dying.
\nHis dreams seem to have ended.
\nAnd suddenly something unexpected happens.
\nThe practical Sancho\u2014
\nthe same Sancho who once insisted that windmills were only windmills\u2014
\nis now the one pleading with his old friend not to give up.
\n“Come,” he says. “Let’s go back out into the countryside.
\nLet’s have one more adventure.”
\nSomewhere along the journey,
\nSancho had begun to dream his friend’s dreams.
\nThat is what friendship had done.
\nNot because Don Quixote forced him.
\nNot because he argued him into it.
\nSimply because they had walked together for so long.<\/p>\n

That, I think, is what Jesus is talking about today.
\nHe is not asking us to admire him from afar.
\nHe is inviting us to walk beside him, day by day, moment by moment.
\nTo let his friendship quietly shape the way we see everything else.<\/p>\n

And perhaps that leaves us with one simple question.
\nNot first,
\n“Do I believe in Jesus?”
\nNot even,
\n“Do I love Jesus?”
\nBut,
\n“Am I becoming his friend?”<\/p>\n

Because if we keep walking with him…
\nif we keep praying…
\nif we keep listening…
\nif we keep returning to this table…
\nthen one day we may discover that,
\nalmost without noticing it,
\nwe have begun to dream Christ’s dreams.<\/p>\n

And when that happens,
\nevery other love in our lives will have found its proper place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the funniest and most famous scenes in all of literature comes near the beginning of the novel Don Quixote. Don Quixote and his faithful companion, Sancho Panza, are riding across the plains of Spain, a knight and his squire, out to right wrongs and protect the vulnerable. Suddenly Don Quixote points into the distance. \u201cLook there!” he cries. \u201cMonstrous giants!” Sancho squints into the sun. “Giants? Those aren’t giants. Those are windmills.” But Don Quixote is convinced. He lowers his lance, charges across the field, and...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7521,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the Only Friendship the Matters: Homily for the 13th Sunday in Ordinary Time - Year A","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[349],"tags":[161,471,244],"class_list":["post-9435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homily","tag-don-quixote","tag-gospel-of-matthew","tag-sancho-panza"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/don-Quixote-banner02.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pOucj-2sb","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9435"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9440,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9435\/revisions\/9440"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7521"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nicksenger.com\/onecatholiclife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}